MAY 2

Yeah it is MAY!!

I LOVE the month of may!! I don't know why! Well I know one reason it is my birthday month but I just really like it! So the grass is FINALLY turning green and the sun is trying with all it's might to shine but the rain really wants to come too and apparently they can't share the sky! I am just glad that I don't see any more snow or ice!! On sunday night of last week we had a going away party for one of managers and though a lot of people didn't like her that much I am not sure why. I LOVED her and I am actually very sad that she is leaving. She got all teary when she said goodbye to me and that set me off. It was good I didn't have that far to drive as I bawled all the way home!! I don't see that well with tears in my eyes so I was carefully driving!! For those of you who know about my mom, she is still at the U fo A but seems to be holding her own! She isn't (yet) doing any better but isn't doing any worse. So that is good, I see her when I can which I have averaged about every other day or so. My Dad is there almost every day so I rely a lot on him and what he says how she is doing.Not much to report in this one. See ya!

APRIL 17

I can't believe how fast the months seem to be going!! Wasn't it just christmas! Now it is almost summer. Well at least we are getting a little bit of nicer weather, and hopefully it will not snow again untill it is supposed to in DECEMBER!! My sister is graduating from grade 12 this year, YIKES!! That is really odd for me. I can still only remember her as this cute little 3 year old and now she is this tall beautiful girl ( a little blonde, but always making me laugh!) who is into boys and makeup and all that jazz. My brother is still my brother and I do not notice to much of a difference with him maybe because he and I are only 22 month apart as opposed to 11 years like me and my sis. I am still busy, and have dropped one of the things that I was involved with because I am finding that I am not getting enough sleep and this past week I have been sick with a sore throght, ears and nose and a little bit of a cough. I think a lot was due to allergies now too with all the snow mould but I haven't had them this bad before and so I am going to blame it on my lack of sleep and busy schedule! I am still feeling in a place of restlessness and monotony and a little unsure what to do though I have though of a good idea (at least I think it is a good idea!) I want to take spanish lessons in Nicaragua. Not to sure when or how or many of the details yet but that is one thing that I would like to do. Then in the summer of 08 one of my friends wants me to go with her to africa to work in a refugee camp for a month I think it is. Do you think that I can do both or do you think I should choose one or the other? I don't know I would hope that I can do both but we'll see what happens between now and then!! Well nothing too exciting going on in my life right now and maybe that is what I miss, for a long time I used to have something happening almost every week or couple of weeks and new and different things weather they were good things or hard things that I had learned from. But right now I do not feel anything happening, so what am I doing or not doing for that to happen? I don't know, gotta sign off for now, bye for now!!

APRIL 1

Well today I did not play any tricks on anyone nor were any played on me THANKFULLY!! The day went by fast though. I went to church at a different church today I knew a few people and it was good to reconnect, then I went to work for 5 hours and then tonight some co workers and I went out to celebrate our 1 year anniversary of Costco being open in SHerwood Park. It wa actually quite fun. Tomorrow I am going to another friends house to hang out and pray a bit as she has just returned from Africa and I am excited to hear about it.

I have decided that the monotony of my life needs something to stop it so I am going to be looking into learning something new and trying to stretch my brain andmaybe me but I am not to sure what I want to take on yet. Any suggestions? Someone said piano lessons and I had thought of that but I do not have a piano to practise on, but there is another possibility. Another person suggest that I take a bible study of Beth Moores, ummm....yeah we'll have to see about that one too. Well I just don't want to take on too much though as I know I have a bad habit of doing. I just want to find something that will build me up encourage an strengthen my spirit and soul. And that I will learn from and be doing something different. This week I think will be a busy week for me though, I have a friend coming in from BC on wednesday and I am soooooo excited to see her, even though I just saw her about a month ago! Signing off for April Fools day, I hope that nothing nasty was pulled on you!!

MARCH 31

Well sorry it has been awhile, I have had some crazy couple of weeks! Things seem to be running more smoothly now! I have been quite busy as usual, and this time it is not all that great as I am getting very tired. I wish that I didn't have to work sometimes, not that I do not enjoy my work but sometimes I wish that I could just be visiting and travelling around and still get paid for it. I am getting restless in the monotony of everything right now. I think I have mentioned that before, and it still is there. I thought that taking a little break a little while ago when I went to BC,it would help me go on for a while longer but it didn't. I want to be doing something more, like I want to be learning something new or going somewhere that is different or both. I don't know, I am pretty wiped right now. I am going to sign off for now but I will be back again.

MARCH 20

Well I have found another GREAT song if you like these types. It is written by Mark Schultz and is sooo sweet. I am going to write it out for you all because I do not have anything new, or exciting for that matter, to tell you! It is called Walking Her Home, and if you do not get at least a little teary in this I can no longer call you my friend!! (Just kidding!!)

Looking back, he sees it all, it was her first date the night he came to call. Her dad said son, have her home on time,and promise me you'll never leave her side. The way she laughed, the dress she wore, he'd never felt like this before.

CHORUS

He was walking her home, and holding her hand, oh the way she smiled it stole the breath right out of him. Down that old road with the stars up above, he remembers where he was the night he fell in love, He was walking her home.

Ten more years and a waiting room, at half past one, and the doctor said come in and meet your son. His knees went weak,when he saw his wife,she was smiling as she said he's got your eyes. And as she slept he held her tight, his mind went back to that first night.

He was walking her home, and holding her hand, oh the way she smile stole the breath right out of him. Down that old road, with the stars up abouve, he remembers where he was the night he fell in love, he was walking her home.

He walked her through the best days of her life, sixty years and he never left her side. A nursing home at eighty five, and the doctor said it could be her last night. And the nurse said oh, should we tell him now, or wait untill the morning to find out. But when they checked her room that night, he was laying by her side.

Oh he was walking her home, and holding her hand,oh the way she smiled when he said this is not the end, and just for awhile they were eighteen, and she was still more beautiful to him than anything.

He was walking her home, he was walking her home. looking back he sees it all, it was her first date the night he came to call....

That's it, I am in tears writing it. I LOVE it and if you ever get a chance to hear it oh my gosh it will melt you, (well some of you!!)Anyways that is it for now, good night all.

MARCH 11 (well almost!)

SO today was interesting. I stayed up until about 2 30 yesterday morning and was supposed to work at 12 30 (then found out it was actually 10 30!) but didn't even make it for then because I get a phone call at 6 30am (yes after only 4hrs of sleep!!) asking if I would come in because the other girl had called in and wouldn't make it to count in the tills, so I raced to work and did as many tills I could then she arrived at about 8 30 and helped finish them. I stayed till 12 and then came home. I actually wasn't going to sleep but after about 3 more hours I was so tired I could hardly see straight!! So I went to bed for a couple of hours and then went to church and then came home. So now I have eaten watched some tv and after I write this I will be heading off to bed.

Yet I have so much to say about what is going on in my head but do not know how to write all down. I have led such a blessed life, I have AMAZING friends and meet new ones ALL the time, and I have a GREAT job and things seem to be going alright but somewhere deep in my spirit I am feeling restless and tired. I feel like I need to be doing something else. I would LOVE to be doing all kinds of missions stuff, but who do I go with? What should or could I do? Where would the money come from? I feel like being where I am is not enough? What about the whole adopting from another country thing? (those of you who do not know this I will share it if you would like but not in my blog.) What about all the things my heart longs for? Where will it all come into play, if at all? I have had so many questions for so many years and why do I not seem to be finding the answer to them. Well this is enough for one night I have to go to bed now.

MARCH 6

HONEY I'M HHHOOOOOMMMMMEEEE!!!! For those of you who do not know I have just returned from visiting a friend and some relatives in BC. It was sooo BEAUTIFUL there, even though it was rainy a couple of days. Today we spent out a lot and it was +17. And to return to Edmonton at -8 (though not as cold as it has been) is still cold!! Anyways....I had a great time and got to see a Brian Doerksen concert and got see Debbie Fortnum sing with him on one of his songs which was really beautiful and I got to talk to her afterward and that was so fun too. She is sooo personable the 2 times that I have talked to her I have felt like I have known her my whole life!! I LOVE peopl like that. Anyways it was fun, and we got to go to the aquarium in Vancouver and that was REALLY neat. I could have spent HOURS there. So who's up to coming to BC with me on a road trip? Any takers? How about either in the summer or the fall? Just let me know, I would LOVE to go back to visit. Plus I tried Bubble Tea!! BARF! It is really quite gross. It is a flavored drink and I didn't know weather to chew the little slime balls or swallow them but they were NASTY!!! Just FYI for any of you who have never tried it, quite the experience! Well need to sign off for tonight too, good night

FEBRUARY 20

Well it is 1am so technically it is the 20th!! Anyways, things have been going constantly for me as usual. I am glad that the weather has smartened up a bit. Still snow yes, but I think we actually got to about +5 sometime last week. Mind you it seems to be cooling down again as I had to scrape off my windows after work tonight. Well I have decided that I could REALLY use a vacation!! And a real one where I can just sit back and relax (preferably in the sun on a beach somewhere) and where I do not have to be on any kind of schedule and do not have to worry about work and things like that. Well I think that I will wait for my year at Costco which is in June and then I will get a week off. What I would like to do is go back to Nicaragua for a visit with my friends down there, and hopefully I will be able to either the end of July or August some time. I was wanting to go in March but I do not think that that will happen!!

Well Missions Fest is this weekend and I will be there ALL weekend long. I am excited but not really about being there from 8am to 11 pm but it will be good I am sure. I was only sent 60 child packs, I actually hope that we run out!! I do have some of my own that I can use too so that will be okay.

Work has been good and I have been getting decent hours, thoug I could really use a break for a couple of days in a row that I have NOT booked off to do other things. I really need to sign off for now, I have buddybreak (3 and 4 year olds) tomorrow and have to be up early for it.

FEBRUARY 9

Well yes, our final tally of Compassion kids was 1004!! Crazy hey, and yet soooo GREAT!!

My Dad just got back from the Philippines yesterday and brought back some really cool things!! He bought my Mom and I Black pearl neclaces and bracelets and my Mom got a pair of earings too. I LOVE the bracelet and am wearing it right now. My sister got a bunch of clothes and a Gucci hand bag and my mom got a Louis Vuittour (sp?) hand bag as well as another one that I do not remember the name of. It doesn't really matter to me as I do not carry a hand bag or purse all that often. My brother got a really nice golf like shirt with the Philippines written on it. And my bro and I got a figurine that was made by the sushi cef at the hotel my dad was staying at, made with sticky rice. I know sounds wierd but looks nothing like rice. I told my parents that maybe we should go there for Christmas this year. Instead of buying gifts lets just go on a nice holiday, my Mom thinks it's a good idea and so does my Dad but we'll see what actually happens come christmas time. Well not much else to say except for that I think February will be a busy month for me and so I apologize if I do not get to write in here to often. It would be cool to see alot of you at Missions Fest this year as it is FREE, I already know I will see some of you but I will practically be LIVING there so do drop by if you happen to be there!!!! See ya,

JANUARY 30

So it is already almost Wednesday, and this past weekend was Breakforth. It was soooo AMAZING!! I got to see Casting Crowns, Newsboys, and got to say hello to Geoff Moore. I was at the Compassion boot ALL weekend and LOVED it! I was soooo EXTREMELY tired by the end, but because of Compassion and how much I LOVE them and the people it was well worth it to be tired. My next big event is Missions Fest and that is really cool because I get to be in charge of the booth this year!! (They are trusting me with that, omigosh!!) I am a little nervous but I feel that I will do well because for the most part I do know how things are run and feel like I will do a good job. Anyways, by the end of the Breakforth weekend, our final count of kids to be sponsored was 1030!!! Some of those were ones that have yet to be paid for but I feel that we will be really close to that as our final, final count.

I always have these great ideas of who I want to be and what I want to do, for the past little while I have been thinking about beign some type of promoter or agent type person for people that I know musically but, for 1 I am not musically talented (really) in any way. I LOVE to sing, but am not really good at it, and I really LOVE a lot of musical styles but can not play any type of instrument. Though I have played a few in the past, recorder, hand bells, piano (not very long) and alto sax (for a year). I absolutly LOVED what I did but I just moved around to much and was not diciplined enough in my younger years to stick with it in the different places that I was moved to. The reason is that I have met a lot of people that I ABSOLUTLY lOVE and wish that I could get them in places and set up things for them when they come to town. Kind of like Breakforth. Maybe I will just have to see if I can become a part of that. Anyways, I ende up sponsoring another little girl while at the booth this year I will have to post a picture when I can. She is soooo sweet, I call her my little winnie the pooh. She is only 3 but absolutly BEYOND the cutest thing you have ever seen. Well I should sign off for th night, have a great week one and all.

JANUARY 21

So last night was Inventory nivght at Costco. Can I just tell you how unbelievably BORING that is. We all had to count every single item in the store!! Even for me who does not mind at times do things that are monotonous for a while, was starting to go insane!! So it was alright though and obviously I made it through, I left there at 12 15am. Then at about 10 after 6 this morning I get a call from Costco saying that this other girl had called in sick and so I had to go open the vault this morning, much to my disappointment. Having to miss ALL my church services for the weekend!! Well I am sure that next weekend will more than make up for it!! Plus I get something like double time and a half or triple time (I can't remember) because it was less than 8 hours between shifts!! Plus my 4$ an hour more on sundays!! So just this day makes up for the tiredness that I will be feeling soon!! So I think that I want to go to a movie this afternoon too, I have to open the vault tomorrow and tuesday but that will be alright I think because I am prepared to do it, it is not a last minute deal. Then I just have to make it through wednesday and thursday and I will be off to BREAKFORTH!!! YAHOO!!! I think I may have to go lay down for awhile but hopefully not to long as I do have to sleep tonight too. See ya!!

JANUARY 13

So my friends I am in a bit of a pickle....I guess for some people it is not a problem but for me I am (after an entire life of being this way) frustraded with the fact that I am not a good speaker and would LOVE to be able to be better at that. Look I am not even very good at articulating that when writing... though articulating is a good word hey!?! Anyways, I want to be able to be bolder ( is that a word?), more bold in who I am and how I communicate with others. I get really frustrated when I can fully explain to people what I would like to. I am not confident in myself at all, I don't feel, and even with the people I amost comfortable with am just now learning to be confident in what I want to say to them and just talk. I have even had a couple of dreams where I have been a public speaker and in the dreams I do good and I speak well and all, but even day to day converstaions do not go well for me and I think that maybe why some people think of me as shy because I do not talk all that much but, I do not feel that I am shy I just usually do not have anything bold or profound to say and therefore just listen in on most conversations and debates. Even when I feel that I would like to share I do not because of the intimidation factor usually with the people I am with and so keep quiet yet again. So like I said I am having such issues with that, I would LOVE to be on stage introducing people or being able to do a Compassion plea, ( that one may come just for the simple fact that I am so passionate about it.) But honestly I would LOVE to be able to get in front of a crowd of hundres or even thousands of people and be able to speak up on behalf of people or things I strongly belive in. Okay I am done now, I have said my piece and maybe that is why I enjoy writing instead of talking but I LOVE to listen too, and feel I am good listener but do not believe that I can help if you need encouragement. Okay now I am really done and am going to bed......

JANUARY 11

So I started writing todays blog earlier and the system shut down on me and I was just about done and it was long!! That makes me a little frustrated as well cause I do not remember all that I wrote either!!

Well Breakforth is in 2 weeks and I am SOOOO very excited about it. This will be my 3rd year there and I have had such cool things happen to me. The first year I was there, well there are a few stories from that year, but last year guess what happened. I was at the Compassion booth and was talking to a lady that was from Nanton (a little town close to the town where I grew up) and so started talking to her and that was fun and she said that she was going to be coming back with her sister to sign up for a child. That was cool so when they returned I recognized the sister, but I have been so many places and have seen and met sooo many people that I had to ask her what her name was. She told me and get this... she was my grade 2 teacher!! I just about died, it was really cool though because she was one of my most favorite teachers and the fact that she was at breakforth was even cooler. She did not even look like she had changed a bit. It was really neat so I am hoping that she will be back this year and I will get to see her again. So I am excited to see what God is planning for me this year I LOVE to be surprised like that and so am excited about this year.

I have recently heard a lady sing, named Debbie Fortnum.... I REALLY like her and know that she was at breakforth last year, I am hoping that she will be there again this year as I know that she has recorded a song with Brian Doerksen on his new CD and I am hoping that she will be there to sing it with him.

Well this one is pretty long, so I think I should go now. Other than Breakforth nothing too exciting in my life, I am still working hard but they have cut my hours back as it is getting to be slow, so I may see what I can do about picking up something else part time, I don't know though we'll see.

JANUARY 8

Well, another Monday and I am glad that I do not have to work. I am right now watching Legends of the Fall. Seen it? It is so sad, I can hardly see to write this between tears. It is almost over so that is good for me. Anyways, not much going for today I am meeting up with a friend and we are going to go for coffee and hang out a bit I am excited about that, I always LOVE going for coffee and talking with and just hanging out with my friends. God has really blessed me with some amazing people in my life. I do not know why I have such wonderful friends but I am very glad I do and I intend on keeping them for a very long time and hopefully into eternity!!

Well it is late at night when I am now completeing this, I have had a really good day and such a wonderful talk with a friend on the phone tonight, nothing really serious but just to talk and laugh was so good. I need that every once in a while especially from this frien as she can make me laugh like no one else. Well I have another full day tomorrow so I need to sign off for now, good night....

JANUARY 2

Well, for most of you it is back to the old grind hey? I have been working this whole time except Christmas day and New years Day, so I feel like there really wasn't a holiday. That is okay though.... I just got over having I am sure what was the 24 hour flu. I got it at about 11 30 New years eve was sick all day yesterday and feel fine now. So how was everyone else's Chritmas and New year? Anyone going to Breakforth? I am soooooo excited for it, Casting Crowns are going to be there and I am so looking forward to that concert!!! I have a friend that is supposed to be coming up to stay with me that weekend and go too, I am very excited about that as well. I don't have anything really exciting to tell right now but other than being sick I have been keeping busy with church and work and friends so that is fun. I am working really hard in order to pay off all my debt's so that is hard but exciting to think that there will be a day that I will be debt free (hopefully before I am 30!, that is not to far away!) ANYWAYS =Þ like I said nothing to exciting yet!!! But wait for a couple of days and I am sur something will come up!!! signing off for now......