February 25 2009

So yesterdays blog I was a little frustrated...hehe, sorry I feel like I was being a little self centered and selfish so I apologize for that. That is all I have to say =)!!

 FEBRUARY 24 2009

Now that I have decided to stay I am finding things more frustrating and just the last couple of days I am also finding that I am getting mad at the little things. Maybe I am just being silly but I think that for a group that prides itself on relationships, I first of all do not find them all that easy to approach. Second they (the staff) have so many meetings that I just find it a little weird. I understand having meetings, say in the morning before classes but it just seems like they are ALWAYS in meetings morning and evening and in the middle of the day. So I felt like there was no one that I could go and talk to about anything, we have small groups but if you know me at all I have a hard time sharing, but that issue was cleared up when someone from another base was here and he and I started talking. That was really great because I got to share things and talked to him more then I have talked to ANYONE here in the past 5 and half weeks!!! Just because he was willing and interesed in what I had to say .... my next vent is that I am having so many problems trying to listen in classes. Last week I felt like the teaching was majorly overdone, they talked and reiterated the EXACT same things the entire week till the last class on friday were they added something new, for me I did not learn ANYTHING. This week I have a problem with the teacher, I do not like how he teaches and I disagree with a lot of things he was saying and I do not feel confident enough in myself to raise those issues in class. I have been praying a lot about it and doing my best to take a few notes and praying that my mind would not wander, I want so much for this to be a life changing thing for me, but I do not know what more I can be doing. I wanted to leave today simply because of boredom, but I do KNOW that God has called me here and am doing my best to figure out what that is. I know and apologize for this one as it is not as nice or whatever as the other blogs but I am allowed to have one or two of these am I not? Well I think that is it for now, I will honestly keep going to see all that God has for me here....maybe it will not be in the classes, but that can not stop me from going!! Hehe! Well talk to you next time!

FEBRUARY 20 2009
Wow!! Time flies when your having fun!! I can not believe that it is almost the end of february already! We have an outreach coming up...on March 7. We will be going to the South Atlantic coast. We are travelling there by bus (an 8 ride) Talk about stepping out of your comfort zone!! I will be put up with people from the church so not really sure how that will go as far as my spanish goes. I have been only using words so far not to many sentences though I can understand for the most part what people are telling me.
I do have a few prayer requests...please pray that I will not be scared to use my spanish on this trip, I REALLY want to be able to step out of my comfort zone with out freezing up in terror, and for another issue that I am not sure how to deal with so far from home, but without going into details I am sure that I hurt a friend before I left and we got along well but I was was not able to talk things out before we went our seperate ways and now this specific realationship keeps coming back to mind and right now it is a bit of a distraction, or maybe it is something I have to deal with, ANWAYS all that to say please pray for that. I ave been doing really well health wise though. Thank the LORD for that!!
I guess another prayer request would be that sometimes I jusst get such a heavy and sad heart sometimes and I am not sure what to do about that, please pray that I would just TOTALLY rely on God to show me what my problem is!! =) Well I gues I will sign off for now, untill next time my friends!!

FEBRUARY 14 2009

This week has been the week that has gone by the fastest...at this rate I will be done in no time! I hope that is not the case I feel like I am learning soooo much and not to sure how to handle it all! This past week though was REALLY hard we a re reading a book (we have to read on every 2 weeks) called The Father Heart of God. I like it a lot though God has been speaking to me through it and there are some things that I do not want to have to face or deal with I guess. This week I was even looking into flights home....mind you that wasn't the only reason, I have a class of 15 in this DTS and other than the little family from Peru (3- Mom, Dad, and 9yr. girl) I am the oldest and the next oldest to me is a young married couple (23 and 25) and after that it is a 20yr old. So I am struggling to fit in because I just do not have that much in common with 20 and under as I have past that stage in life and REALLY do not want to go back there =) All that said I felt that this week God was telling me to not be like Jonah and run away from what I KNOW he asked me to do. Because if I had I would have had a storm and a 'whale' to deal with!! So I think that I need to hang out here for a while yet....though at the time I was willing to take on the storm and whale just cause I wanted to leave so badly. Please continue to pray for me, right now for strength and courage. So that I will press on with all that God has for me in this time, that I have set aside specifically to draw closer to him.

I got to go see the little girl that I sponsor here, Gabriela, it was an okay time I wish that I had had something more fun planned though we did go to a movie though it was not one that, if I had known, would have taken her to. I think she was bored but it was fun to hang out with her. I hope to do it at least one more time in April for her birthday!!

February 3 2009
So I have been asked about what a day in my lifelookslike right now so I though that I would post it for everyone to see waht is going to go on. There are a few things that are out of place like Monday wenesday and friday we have worship in the morning with the School of the Bibleclass that is also going on,and Tuesday and thursday we have small groups in the morning as well, But for the most part a day lookslike this for me. I wake up at about 6 30 for breakfast is at 7 then I have to clean up after braekfast which usually takes about an hour or so then at 9 am is when our classes start. We have class then till 12 30 when lunch is (we get a couple of breaks in there too) Then after lunchsome people have chores to dobut because I clean in the morning that is all I have to do so I have free time and devotions. Then we start class again at 2pm untill 4. That is then used for again chores for some people and free time for others till 6 when dinner is. After dinner sometimes we walk into town or just hang out, but bedtime and lights out is 10 30 but for the most part we are all usually in bed before or by then. That is my day. But as I write this I am thinking about some homework that I have to do so I am going to sign off for now. Talk to you all again soon!