FEBRUARY 24 2009

Now that I have decided to stay I am finding things more frustrating and just the last couple of days I am also finding that I am getting mad at the little things. Maybe I am just being silly but I think that for a group that prides itself on relationships, I first of all do not find them all that easy to approach. Second they (the staff) have so many meetings that I just find it a little weird. I understand having meetings, say in the morning before classes but it just seems like they are ALWAYS in meetings morning and evening and in the middle of the day. So I felt like there was no one that I could go and talk to about anything, we have small groups but if you know me at all I have a hard time sharing, but that issue was cleared up when someone from another base was here and he and I started talking. That was really great because I got to share things and talked to him more then I have talked to ANYONE here in the past 5 and half weeks!!! Just because he was willing and interesed in what I had to say .... my next vent is that I am having so many problems trying to listen in classes. Last week I felt like the teaching was majorly overdone, they talked and reiterated the EXACT same things the entire week till the last class on friday were they added something new, for me I did not learn ANYTHING. This week I have a problem with the teacher, I do not like how he teaches and I disagree with a lot of things he was saying and I do not feel confident enough in myself to raise those issues in class. I have been praying a lot about it and doing my best to take a few notes and praying that my mind would not wander, I want so much for this to be a life changing thing for me, but I do not know what more I can be doing. I wanted to leave today simply because of boredom, but I do KNOW that God has called me here and am doing my best to figure out what that is. I know and apologize for this one as it is not as nice or whatever as the other blogs but I am allowed to have one or two of these am I not? Well I think that is it for now, I will honestly keep going to see all that God has for me here....maybe it will not be in the classes, but that can not stop me from going!! Hehe! Well talk to you next time!